What is it about getting old that makes me mad?
First of all it’s not being able to stand up, sit down, climb up, climb down, lift or push anything without letting out an audible groan. Everything aches these days.
I'm scared to go to the Dr's because every time I go they find something else wrong, that can only be alleviated by taking a handful of pills everyday. Blood pressure and cholesterol tablets make me retain water and make my legs swell up so that I am developing
'Cankles', so the quack prescribed diuretic tablets which make me keep going for a wee every 5mins and dehydrate me.
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| Fancy a Fisting? |
The side affects of the dehydration means that my skin gets dry and flaky if I don't moisturise, which I don't because I am a geezer Grrr!!!, And, I do apologise in advance, if I don't eat enough soluble fibre and drink enough water I get the worst constipation. Honestly sometimes it's like shitting a brick. There are teeth marks in the bog roll and in my toilet door. Trouble is it comes and goes. That's because I don't eat / drink properly until the old
'Farmer Giles' start playing up and once they clear up, I eventually start eating crap again and that starts the cycle all over again. At the moment I feel like I've been fingered by
Freddy Kruger or fisted by that bloke out of Rollerball. Ouch!!!
You could always have a douche fitted in your bathroom, a jet of water up the back passage usually loosens things up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by and posting a comment Gorilla Bananas. Please forgive my ignorance. I am not familiar with the word douche, appart from hearing American teenagers calling each other it as an insult. Is it like a Bidet or just a shower hose type of thing? I don't really like the idea of poking stuff up my bumhole though to tell you the truth.
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